How to Read the Signs

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON FORBES FEBRUARY 26, 2013 | READ THE ORIGINAL POST

I recently had the opportunity to attend a workshop that covered body language and how to read body language signs.

It was fascinating, so I asked Nancy Fagan, MS, body language enthusiast and owner of The Divorce Help Clinic in San Diego, to share some insight. She is a nationally recognized divorce expert, dubbed, “The Divorce Reporter” as well as the author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Romance” and “Desirable Men: How to Find Them.” She is a Huffington Post divorce writer and has appeared countless times on television and radio, in top magazines and newspapers and all over the Internet. She is everywhere, and for good reason – she understands how to read the signs! Here’s what we chatted about:

What are 4 body language gestures that women should steer clear of?

1. Not directly facing the person they are talking with. This indicates discomfort or a lack of interest. When we’re engaged in a conversation our feet and torso should face the person directly.
2. Holding objects in front of your body. When a women holds objects, such as a handbag in front of her body, it indicates resistance or shyness. Instead, hold things to the side to show a level of comfort and openness.
3. Looking down when talking with others. This indicates a lack of interest. Always look straight ahead and make eye contact during interactions with others.
4. Standing with your hands crossed over genitals. This posture indicates that a woman is nervous and unsure of herself. This stance pushes her shoulders forward and makes her entire body look smaller and weaker. To project confidence, she should let your hands rest comfortably at her side.

How can a woman be sure to command a presence when she walks into a room without creating an intimidation factor?

How a woman carries herself portrays her level of confidence. In order to command a presence when entering a room, a woman needs to walk with intent, her head high, good eye contact as she passes people, shoulders back, hands by her side, and she should look alert with eyes open and eyebrows high.

Why do Spanx make us feel more secure (literally and figuratively)?

Interacting in social settings can cause heightened anxiety for a lot of women. Wearing Spanx over the midsection helps to reduce anxiety. For many years, experts have suggested wrapping the torso of humans as well as animals to create pressure as a way to relieve anxiety. This has a calming effect on the nervous system. For anxious pets, there is something called a Thundershirt. For women, we can achieve the same pressure with a belly girdle.

Did you know that 67% of communication occurs through body language, 26% from tone of voice and only 7% from spoken word? Communication is a fascinating and important topic. Be sure that you are clearly communicating by being conscience of your body language. After listening to Nancy, I realized that I often tilt my head to the right when listening intently and nod in agreement when I may not actually agree. These cues could be confusing to the person I am speaking with. I also learned that when someone is very interested, their eyes start to water a bit. This occurs whether you’re in the board room. listening to a very intriguing sales presentation or on a first date with someone you really like. Pay attention sister, and read the signs!